Exploring Financial Bullying and Budgeting Dynamics in Relationships
A Guardian US Money blog article published on August 14, 2014, discusses financial bullying within marriages, featuring reader stories and findings from a US survey involving around 1,000 Americans. Approximately 10% of survey respondents described their partners as financial bullies, though others viewed strict budgeting as responsible behavior.
Readers shared a range of experiences, from vigilant budgeting and shared financial management to controlling actions perceived as bullying, such as restricting spending or withholding funds. For example, Adam, Rebecca, Sean, Sarah, and Nicole emphasized the importance of budgeting, shared accounts, and mutual involvement in managing money rather than behavior indicative of bullying.
One anecdote detailed a wife who responded to her ex-husband's spending of family funds on taxis and restaurants by imposing a budget, making him choose between taxis or meals. This illustrates the nuanced boundary between budgeting and control.
Another reader from Arkansas recounted years of financial bullying related to debt and her ex-husband's prior drug problem; this situation ended in divorce and took seven years to repair her credit.
The article notes the thin line between budgeting and abuse, with cases involving one-sided joint spending and control over essentials such as food and utilities. Additionally, a reader in an arranged marriage in New York described severe financial control and monitoring but later gained personal earnings, maintains a large bank balance, and nearly paid off a mortgage.
Supporting data from a separate Credit Repair survey mentioned in the piece found that 24% of men and 43% of women concealed clothing purchases from their partners, reflecting broader secrecy about finances in relationships.
