Exploring Financial Bullying and Control in Relationships
A Guardian US Money blog post dated August 14, 2014, discusses reader stories about money in relationships and highlights a survey of about 1,000 Americans, which found that 10% describe their partner as a financial bully. While some readers agree with the term, many oppose labeling budgeting and financial vigilance as abuse, considering such behaviors normal or responsible parts of managing shared finances.
Several respondents describe monitoring and discussing spending as a routine aspect of financial partnership rather than abuse. However, some accounts illustrate more severe control issues. One reader from Arkansas recounts years of financial bullying by her ex-husband, involving debt accrual, drug-related spending, and credit-card misuse, which led to divorce and ongoing creditor issues; she ultimately paid off both cards and faced credit damage.
Credit Repair data cited in the article indicates that 24% of men and 43% of women hide clothing purchases from their partners. Another example from New York details an arranged marriage with extreme restrictions on food, clothing, and spending. After years, the woman gained independence, now earns her own money, spends on previously forbidden items, and is close to paying off the mortgage.
The article emphasizes that the line between budgeting and abuse can be subtle. It invites readers to consider where responsible financial management ends and financial bullying begins, highlighting broader themes of power, money, and gender dynamics within relationships.
