Financial Bullying and Control in Intimate Relationships
The Guardian article from August 2014, updated in 2020, explores the complex issue of financial bullying within intimate relationships. It cites a survey indicating that approximately 10% of Americans describe a partner as a financial bully.
The article highlights a range of perspectives from Guardian readers, some arguing that what might be labeled as bullying could reflect responsible budgeting or financial vigilance. Anecdotes present on both sides of the spectrum include normal budgeting behaviors as well as controlling or abusive financial monitoring.
A striking example comes from a reader in Arkansas who recounts years of financial bullying by an ex-husband; he increased spending on a card in her name, damaged her credit, and left her with the debts to pay post-divorce.
Tense disputes over joint spending also arise within the article, including situations where one spouse imposes strict budgets seen by the other as coercive. This underscores the challenge of defining who is the bully when financial control measures come into play.
The article further notes the blurring lines between budgeting and bullying when funds are not shared equally or spending is tightly controlled, often characterized by dynamics of 'our money' versus 'my money.'
One extreme case from an arranged marriage illustrates financial control over food, clothing, groceries, and electricity. Despite the woman's eventual financial independence, concerns about hidden expenditures continue.
A Credit Repair survey referenced finds that 24% of men and 43% of women hide clothing purchases from their partners, emphasizing the complexities in financial transparency within relationships.
