Financial Bullying and Money Management Dynamics in US Relationships
A Guardian article from August 14, 2014, compiles reader experiences and examines the complex dynamics of financial bullying and money management in relationships across the United States.
A survey of about 1,000 Americans found that roughly 10% would describe their partner as a financial bully. However, many readers see keeping track of expenses and budgets as budgeting or financial responsibility rather than bullying, highlighting blurred lines between vigilant finance and coercive control.
The article shares personal accounts illustrating these issues: An Arkansas reader recounts how her then-husband ran up around $23,000 in debt on a card in her name and later developed a drug problem; she had to pay off the debts herself and suffered long-term credit damage. Another anecdote tells of a husband who drained shared funds on restaurants and taxis, leaving rent and food unpaid until the wife advocated for budgeting and open discussions about joint spending.
A New York reader describes her experience in an arranged marriage marked by extreme money control, including monitoring of food and clothes purchases. Years later, she earns her own income, makes purchases independently, and the mortgage is nearly paid off.
The article also references a Credit Repair survey indicating that 24% of men and 43% of women hide clothing purchases from their partners, underscoring secrecy surrounding finances in some relationships.
