Financial Bullying in Relationships: A Thin Line Between Budgeting and Control?
A Guardian US personal finance article dated August 14, 2014, highlights a survey of about 1,000 Americans in which 10% described their partner as a financial bully. The piece explores the complex dynamics between financial responsibility and coercive control within relationships.
Many readers of The Guardian contend that actions such as tracking expenses or budgeting should be seen as financial vigilance rather than bullying. The article presents anecdotes reflecting both perspectives: some consider budgeting conversations as protective measures, while others see them as forms of coercion.
One example includes Simone, who shares about an ex-husband who regularly spent rent, bills, and food money on restaurants and taxis, exceeding their budget. Another reader from Arkansas recounts enduring financial bullying from her then-husband, who increased his credit card usage in her name to accumulate approximately $23,000 in debt, resulting in a divorce and credit damage lasting seven years.
A Credit Repair survey cited in the article indicates that 24% of men and 43% of women hide clothing purchases from their partners, suggesting secrecy related to financial control.
The article also describes a case from New York involving an arranged marriage marked by extreme financial restrictions over essentials like food, clothing, and electricity. After years, the woman now earns independently and has greater spending freedom, with the mortgage nearly paid off.
Overall, the article invites readers to reflect on where the boundary lies between necessary financial management and financial bullying within intimate relationships.
